There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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