my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
