Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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