Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
