I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
