Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
my poor anus
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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