the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
