Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
