we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize