did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
