I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize