I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
