His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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