he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
