I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
