i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
