You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
