omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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