I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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