too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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