I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
