Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
