he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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