Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
