To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
