I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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