Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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