Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
there is glitter all over my balls
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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