so explain again why im purple
no
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
