Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Walk of Shame today included voting.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
