I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
