Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
