So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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