smell my finger.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
