lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize