wakey wakey hands off snakey
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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