Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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