Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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