You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
