the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
