I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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