It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
operation have a gay friend backfired
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
