dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize