No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I just gargled with NyQuil
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
