All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
