Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
