dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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