Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Randomize
