I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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