clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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