Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
