? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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