You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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