dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
