You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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