is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
please come you make the beer taste better
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
3pm strippers are depressing
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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