look no pants
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
