I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
