okay pat passed out under dana's car
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
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