just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
