There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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