Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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