She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
