He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
