For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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