quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
