We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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