So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
