Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
