No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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