and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
