No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
