no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
