we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
