I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
