totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize