Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
