My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize